The Three Elements of Manhood

The Three Elements of Manhood


(Picture Above: The popular image above reminds me, often in a humorous way, that the pursuit of real manhood never ends.)

Ever since I became a full-time Filipino martial arts instructor through Bayani Warrior (, I have been fortunate to have been able to help lead, teach, and guide students these past few years, both in training and outside of training. When it comes to training the younger, male students in my group, I like to share three points that I learned in my youth group in my teens that helps exemplify what it means to be a REAL man in today’s world. These three points are things I work at everyday to achieve, and in today’s article, I would like to share them with all of you.

I have found that my generation and the generation following us seems to have a distorted view of manhood and what it should be. Due to shows like “Jersey Shore”, rap videos, and movies, most young males believe that the definition of being a “man” involves being able to sleep with as many women as possible, make as much money as possible, to be as ruthless as possible, or to be as helpless as possible. In light of this, I thought I’d share three traits that I learned as a teen that have helped shape the way I teach and the way I live my life. 


(Picture Above: Today’s perception of manhood is often distorted.)

To give credit where credit is due, I learned the Three Elements of Manhood during my teenage years in Youth for Family and Life (YFL), a Christian youth organization I belonged to in my teens. Regardless of your belief system, I feel that these three points can be embraced by all men regardless of religion, race, or creed.

These traits are known as the Three P’s:

1) The ability to Pastor

2) The Ability to Protect

3) The Ability to Provide

I will go over each of these traits in detail.

The Ability to Pastor: Most people see the word “Pastor” and immediately think of a religious clergyman or authority figure. However, the term Pastor simply means to be able to guide and serve those who may look to you for guidance or help. These people could be your students, your peers, or even those who just need a helping hand. To Pastor others is to be a leader, a guide, and example for others…a role model if you will. To do this requires that you know where you stand on issues, and to be firm regarding your moral code.


(Picture Above: Bruce Lee said it best.)

The Ability to Protect: A real man should be a protector. Ever since humans started walking this planet, the males have been the warriors and protectors of their families, their tribes, and their land. In my opinion, every man should train and learn how to fight. A real man should be able to shoot a gun, use a blade, throw a punch, and fight with anything at their disposal. A real man should be physically and mentally strong and capable of enduring. As we have seen this past year with the Sandy Hook Shooting, the Aurora Shooting, and the Boston Marathon Bombing, evil is a reality in today’s world, and it’s up to real, honest, and good men to take action against it when it rears it’s ugly head. 

However, the ability to protect also goes beyond combative skills. It also requires that a man can protect people from negative situations and emotions. A real man should be able to protect a woman’s heart or child’s heart and mind as much as their body or their home.


(Picture Above: Kalinga warriors from Cordillera province who trained and had the mindset and gear to protect their tribe.)

The Ability to Provide: Traditionally, a man was expected to be able to hunt and gather food for the family. Today, a real man should work hard and be able to earn the resources and finances to provide for their family.  A real man works hard for their loved ones and does whatever is necessary to pay for what they need to pay for by working hard with integrity. Even beyond financial stability, a real man should be able to provide a sense of comfort (i.e. the Ability to Pastor) and safety (i.e. the Ability to Protect). 


(Picture Above: Since the dawn on time, the man has been able to provide security, food, and resources for his loved ones.)

These three traits are what I work everyday to achieve. I am by no means a master of any of these three things. These three points are things I constantly strive to improve in my life, and I like to share them with my younger male students so that they can also have an idea of what they need to focus on and be able to do. 

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